Long Overdue Update

I really haven't updated this in for-ev-er, so I figured today is a day good as any other to do so!

The holidays went by pretty uneventfully, but yet very comfortable. It's nice that, the older I get, it seems the more traditions are formed. It was nice to know that I'd spend Christmas Eve with my immediate family, the way it has been for a few years. And now that a baby is thrown into the mix (a baby!), it makes the family time that more special.

NYE was also relaxing and fun. This year was different than my past few (okay, last SEVEN) NYE's. Instead of enjoying small house parties that I could walk to from my Philly home, I ventured up to Staten Island to hang out with friends of a friend. All in all, it was a wonderfully Mama Mia, Italian filled time. My belly was especially full of it, and now my thighs are, too. Thanks, Mrs. D.

It seems like the holidays came faster than usual this year, and I'm not really surprised that they were over so quickly either. In a way, it was a relief to get back to the daily grind.

But oh baby, the daily grind is now in full force! Grad school starts again this week, and I am already dreading the workload. There are two very hard things about this semester: 1. I am so close to being done in August that I am burnt out after the last 2.5 years, and 2. I really, really, really do not want to be an NP anymore. I do not regret the education or my program up to this point; I feel like I have learned a lot, and that all of my classes have made me a better nurse. And in the end, being a better nurse (being as good a nurse as I can be) is really my end goal.

That being said, it now seems pointless that I started a degree that I do not want to use, something that has cost me so much time, money and effort expended during the prime of my twenties. And because I have no drive to use the degree, I am never going to make that time back or get a payoff from it.

So this leaves me with two options: to finish the degree or not to finish the degree. It seems so silly not to finish it at this point; it is really only 28 weeks until I am finished. And saying it like that, rather than saying that I have 36 papers due and that I have to work six 12 hour shifts a week from now till August, makes it a lot easier to think about and get through.

In the end, I know that I am going to finish. I know that my life is going to suck for the next 28 weeks. And I know that, at the end of this all on August 6th, I am going to be so happy that I am done and unable to remember a time when I did not want to finish. Because I know this, I know that I can and will finish my degree.

My plans for after the degree? Take the exam, pass, and then finally relax. Faith willing.

So, my dear friends, I am off. Let's hope these 72 hour work weeks aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be!