If you ask me, I'll admit it: I have totally been bitten by the Baby Bug! Those wacky female hormones are kicking in and sending out smoke signals, begging for a baby of my own. Of course, being 25 and unmarried, I am totally, TOTALLY not ready to have kids yet.
In order to curb my Baby Bug then, I recently watched my godson Lukey Pants (at least, that's what I call him, and will call him till he's 16 and very embarrassed by it). Luke is absolutely a wonderful baby! He's cute, he doesn't cry too much, and he's very healthy and playful. Sure, he spits up and grabs my hair, but isn't that just adorable?
I took Luke out in one of those baby carrier things, where you strap the baby on the front of you like a papoose. Can I tell you? The people of Rittenhouse Square treated me entirely differently! Suddenly, cars were waiting for me to cross the street. Women wearing Jimmy Choo's were polite to me. The people sitting outside at Parc (Steven Starr's new restaurant on the square) cooed at this baby. How wonderful for society to act like this to a baby! Maybe there is still some good in the world...
So for now, my Baby Bug is at bay thanks to the cutest nephew ever. But I better get some buns in the oven within the next decade, or there'll be some words!
Also, on a complete side note, I enjoyed the looks from pregnant women I got. Clearly, they thought I was the mother, and clearly, they thought I looked good for just having a baby. Let's hope I get that look again some day, and next time when the baby's actually mine!
ps- please, no one mention this in front of marty, i don't need him thinking i'm desperate for a fetus!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Mind your own... bikini's wax?
Last week, I decided to add to my list of reasons that I am a woman. So far I have covered the whole ability to have children, lots of estrogen (even hcg in po form), and although tiny, boobs. I figured it's been a while since I've added anything to my female repoitoire, and went for the big guns. No, I'm not pregnant- but in case I was, at least now I'm prepared.
I gave myself a bikini wax at home.
I'm not quite sure that anyone could ever, ever, EVER prepare for the pain and suffering that is one with the wax job. In fact, on a scale of 1-10, it was the worst pain I could ever imagine and at least a 17. The bad part? You're inflicting the pain upon yourself. The worst part? Once you start, you really can't stop- unless you want your new nickname to be patches.
For everyone that has never done a wax at home or never plans to (my advice), there are two options. The directions tell me that a heart/triangle shape is the "american" and the landing strip is the "european" style of waxing. Who knew? We settle in a different country, and suddenly I need different pubic hair.
You heat up the wax in the microwave, apply it with a stick to a 2x2 area, and then immediate rip it off in the opposite direction of how you applied the wax. In one word: ow.
Another word of advice on the subject would be to follow all the directions. Apparently, you're supposed to use some kind of soothing oil, test the heat of the wax on your wrist, not let your cat stick his nose in the wax, and not ride your bike to work the next day (and not to work with underwear on at all for the next three days).
I have to say though, despite all the pain, I do feel more like a lady (although posting this blog entry probably deems otherwise) and the skin is silky smooth (ie, like a baby's bottom). In the future, I will be willing to pay the big bucks for some lady in some sketchy salon in the northeast to torture me. Bite block and wrist restraints included.
I gave myself a bikini wax at home.
I'm not quite sure that anyone could ever, ever, EVER prepare for the pain and suffering that is one with the wax job. In fact, on a scale of 1-10, it was the worst pain I could ever imagine and at least a 17. The bad part? You're inflicting the pain upon yourself. The worst part? Once you start, you really can't stop- unless you want your new nickname to be patches.
For everyone that has never done a wax at home or never plans to (my advice), there are two options. The directions tell me that a heart/triangle shape is the "american" and the landing strip is the "european" style of waxing. Who knew? We settle in a different country, and suddenly I need different pubic hair.
You heat up the wax in the microwave, apply it with a stick to a 2x2 area, and then immediate rip it off in the opposite direction of how you applied the wax. In one word: ow.
Another word of advice on the subject would be to follow all the directions. Apparently, you're supposed to use some kind of soothing oil, test the heat of the wax on your wrist, not let your cat stick his nose in the wax, and not ride your bike to work the next day (and not to work with underwear on at all for the next three days).
I have to say though, despite all the pain, I do feel more like a lady (although posting this blog entry probably deems otherwise) and the skin is silky smooth (ie, like a baby's bottom). In the future, I will be willing to pay the big bucks for some lady in some sketchy salon in the northeast to torture me. Bite block and wrist restraints included.
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